8 years later

Hello! 8 years later and here I am again.. I read through my old posts and WOW! Crazy! It's funny that I began this blog whenever me and my girlfriend, Alex, broke up. Not too long after we broke up (maybe a year or so) she moved away. I suppose I ought to finish up Alex and I's story, huh? Well, like I said she left due to family problems. One day she just never came back to school, I didn't get any messages. She just dissappeared. Once I figured out why she left I tried to talk to her. I did some. But I could tell she wasn't in to me anymore. I assumed she wanted to throw her old life away and begin a new one. Without me. So I stopped trying to talk to her.. and eventually it was like she never exsisted. Like she just vanished from my life. The only thing I still had of her was our memories. Then I got pregnant in 2014. In 2015 I went to my family's event at our property. A car pulled up, one of my old friends got out, Dakota, and then there she was. She came up and hugged me and put a hand on my pregnant belly. I hugged her back. I know I kept my face and eyes calm, but my heart and head were going crazy as I fought back tears. I never thought I'd see her again, and then, there she was in my arms. They made an excuse to leave just minutes later, which I was actually thankful for. It was just to much for me to deal with. I felt as though I was going to explode. Then I didn't see her anymore. I had my son, Oliver, in October 2015. I bought a house in Holland and moved. Then one day I was on my way to my mom's house and there was a truck in front of me. they had people in the back, barely clothed. I was shocked when they pulled into my mother's drive way. I got out and walked right by the truck to the front door without a look. On my way out i saw that in the passenger seat sat my beautiful ex girlfriend. I only but glanced and walked on by, got in my car and drove away without a word. What was she doing at my parents house? Somewhere she never was when we were dating. The answer to that was hanging out with one of my siblings. Then maybe 6 or 8 months later, she was on my front porch. With our old best friend, and my sister. Turns out her and her husband just live right down the street! All this time living next door and we had no idea. She asked someone to drive her home, so I did. Again, my eyes were calm but my heart was racing. I had butterflies in my stomach for the first time in 8 years. That was my girl, and here she is in my passenger seat, living down the street! I dropped her off without a word. Several months later when I was working at the Gaslight she came in with a regular, "Taber" (AKA John) and my sister and her husband. I smoked a cigarette with her outside. we talked a bit but kept it simple. Then they left. about a month later she was sitting on my couch. Turns out her husband and my boyfriend were friends. She was here for about 5 days straight. Then we started seeing eachother on a regular basis for about 3 months. Until her divorce. This is when things with her and I began again. I couldn't help but love her to pieces. I feel so protective of her. And I knew then she would always be my girl. We layer together in either her bed or mine for about a week. And then, one day, she was gone. Her house was empty. She texted me and told me she was partying in a town about an hour or so away. I didn't hear from her much for a few days. When she came back it was like nothing happened. Now she is gone again. And I wonder if I will always be wondering where she is and if she is ok. How many times will I have to wake up to her, just vanished?

Alex

These are two poems that Alex wrote for me about me. I wrote a bunch of new poems But Alex has my Book 'O Poems. She is reading them. I will write them when i get my book back.
There are no names for these poems, so..
Poem #1
"I heard you laugh
so i cried
i started to scream
then waved good0bye
an unatural feeling
creeps inside
the blood drips out
and i slowly die
i dont want to leave
not without you
but my hearts black and blue
a teardrop falls but i wipe it away
no one should feel my pain
i see a need
and push it in
soon theres drugs
under my skin
i take a few pills
and smoke some more pot
Don't forget me babe
don't forget my love
if you don't see me tomarrow
il be in the ground
Higher"

Poem #2
"I still love her
but its a split decision
i still miss her
But nothing really missing
we still talk
and hold hands
we are stil best friends
she hates the look
i get
everytime
i think of him
she doesnt want
to be left
she thinks
shes just a regret
we've shared secrets
and we laughed
we fought soetimes
but remained friends
we stil talk
and hold hands
i still love you
till the end"
Both By: Alex Raney.
I guess Boo stil does have feelings for me.
-RazorBlade Romance

Book Suggestions

The Charlie Bone series
PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS series
The house at night novels
Twilght saga
harry potter series
vampire acadamy sereies
Generation dead
The host
Loser
13 reasons why
Book #1 Perfect, #2 Lush, #3 Bounce
By: Natasha Friend

More Book suggestions next time
January 19 (?) 2010
Until then
-RazorBlade Romance

STOP CHILD ABUSE!!

Child abuse happens everyday,
to innocent children.
Kids and teenagers die from child abuse, or cant stand it so the commit suicide.
Of all the things i hate to see Child abuse has to be one of the worst.
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!! If you hear about a child being abused call The Police, Report them, save the lives of children. If YOU pick up that phone YOU can make a difference in an innocent kids life, YOU are the ones that need to help, YOU have a responsability that their parents dont do, YOU can do it!
Also if you know of one of your friends or soemone that has problems or hurts thenm self cuts their wrists, starves themselves, ect.. Get help, Tell anyone who can help. YOU have to do this YOU have to.
Children are counting on you. Right now an innocent child is being abused and YOU cna stop it, so pick up the phone and call you local police.
The children need YOU!
Alyssa Lies, Concrete Angel. Two beautiful and sad storys of child abuse. Look these up, then help the poor children you dont want to end up like these two young girls.
HELP!!!!
-RazorBlade Romance

Fun with the Teen's

January 16, 2010.
I know i promised you the poem Chosen today, but i want to tell you that poem next tyme.
Last night i went to a Lock-In at Ceder Crest. It was really stupid. But i got home at about 7:25 a.m. this morning. I went to bed as soon as i got home. Haha i slept till 3:00 in the afternoon. Haha.
Right now im sitting down stairs in my basement, with my baby kitten, Peanut. Watching my favorite series The Final Destinations. Right now im watching #1. I really really love these movie's. Oh damn, it just ended.
Today we are going to Dye my sister's girlfriends hair. Her name is Steohanie. Then we are gonna go hang out with about 50 other teenagers. We party alot. Oh shit, Steph is calling for me.
G2G
Bye Guys!!
Next tyme i will put up Chosen.
Ttfn
-RazorBlade Romance

Hand In Hand

Hand In Hand
By: RazorBlade Romance

Everyday We're Side bye
side hand in hand
happy as it gets

hugging close then
i chose just to take a stand

I'll say " I love you" as we
walk side by side, hand in hand

I'll say " I need you back,
My Little Boo, 'cause this i
just can't stand

I'll convince her
to decide to take my hand,

We'll be together again, Side by
Side, Hand In Hand, and she'll know
it was because of that one day
when i decided to take a
stand.
___________________________________________________
Writen January 13 '09
This is another poem about my Alex. It basically says that we are getting closer we hold hands and hug, we are always together then i try to get her back she says yes and we are once again ' Hand In Hand.
Next Poem is.....Chosen..
Untill then
- RazorBlade Romance

Save

Save
By: RazorBlade Romance

As I knelt by my bed
to pray, To God this
is what i said

"Before i leave the Earth today
God i really needed to pray
My little friend i dare to say
will not make it where im going today
As i leave i ask your help
save her heart, before she melts."
______________________________________________________
Writen December 17 '09
This is another poem about my Alex. It means she doesnt belive in God. So one day i knew i was going to die and wanted Alex to come to Heaven when she died insted of melting in Hell, So i asked for God's help.
I try to make Alex belive in God, But its hard
More Poems where that came from!
Next post you will read 'Hand In Hand, writen January 13 '09