8 years later

Hello! 8 years later and here I am again.. I read through my old posts and WOW! Crazy! It's funny that I began this blog whenever me and my girlfriend, Alex, broke up. Not too long after we broke up (maybe a year or so) she moved away. I suppose I ought to finish up Alex and I's story, huh? Well, like I said she left due to family problems. One day she just never came back to school, I didn't get any messages. She just dissappeared. Once I figured out why she left I tried to talk to her. I did some. But I could tell she wasn't in to me anymore. I assumed she wanted to throw her old life away and begin a new one. Without me. So I stopped trying to talk to her.. and eventually it was like she never exsisted. Like she just vanished from my life. The only thing I still had of her was our memories. Then I got pregnant in 2014. In 2015 I went to my family's event at our property. A car pulled up, one of my old friends got out, Dakota, and then there she was. She came up and hugged me and put a hand on my pregnant belly. I hugged her back. I know I kept my face and eyes calm, but my heart and head were going crazy as I fought back tears. I never thought I'd see her again, and then, there she was in my arms. They made an excuse to leave just minutes later, which I was actually thankful for. It was just to much for me to deal with. I felt as though I was going to explode. Then I didn't see her anymore. I had my son, Oliver, in October 2015. I bought a house in Holland and moved. Then one day I was on my way to my mom's house and there was a truck in front of me. they had people in the back, barely clothed. I was shocked when they pulled into my mother's drive way. I got out and walked right by the truck to the front door without a look. On my way out i saw that in the passenger seat sat my beautiful ex girlfriend. I only but glanced and walked on by, got in my car and drove away without a word. What was she doing at my parents house? Somewhere she never was when we were dating. The answer to that was hanging out with one of my siblings. Then maybe 6 or 8 months later, she was on my front porch. With our old best friend, and my sister. Turns out her and her husband just live right down the street! All this time living next door and we had no idea. She asked someone to drive her home, so I did. Again, my eyes were calm but my heart was racing. I had butterflies in my stomach for the first time in 8 years. That was my girl, and here she is in my passenger seat, living down the street! I dropped her off without a word. Several months later when I was working at the Gaslight she came in with a regular, "Taber" (AKA John) and my sister and her husband. I smoked a cigarette with her outside. we talked a bit but kept it simple. Then they left. about a month later she was sitting on my couch. Turns out her husband and my boyfriend were friends. She was here for about 5 days straight. Then we started seeing eachother on a regular basis for about 3 months. Until her divorce. This is when things with her and I began again. I couldn't help but love her to pieces. I feel so protective of her. And I knew then she would always be my girl. We layer together in either her bed or mine for about a week. And then, one day, she was gone. Her house was empty. She texted me and told me she was partying in a town about an hour or so away. I didn't hear from her much for a few days. When she came back it was like nothing happened. Now she is gone again. And I wonder if I will always be wondering where she is and if she is ok. How many times will I have to wake up to her, just vanished?